I know that God has forgiven me, but I just can't forgive myself.It's very hard to talk people out of this mindset. It's my impression that they cling desperately to this kind of assertion; that it gives them a sense of personal righteousness even as they speak of their own sin. In other words, it can be strangely self-serving to cling to our pain and our guilt.
Do you think that's possible? I do. I see it in their eyes, when I tell them that if they truly believe they have been forgiven by God, they have no reason to continue to carry this sin-burden. I see them cling more desperately still to their claim, although they can't ever explain why.
It's the flesh, that's what I think. We like to claim the special-ness of our emotions, the power and importance and real-ness of them. We don't like to admit that our emotion (our gut) is ultimately deceptive, self-serving, and spirit-crushing.
Here's what I want to say to the next person who tells me that they can't forgive themselves, even though they understand that the cross of Christ is the towering symbol of their innocence, their freedom from the repugnant burden of sin. I'll say this:
Dude, you just need to repent of that. You say you get it about the cross, but I don't think you do. This clinging to your guilt even as the Beloved pays your debt, this is a the flesh warring against the Spirit and that's all it is.Well, I think I remember my son Nate telling me once that if we're not frequently calling on people to repent (including ourselves) then we're probably not preaching the Gospel.
4 comments:
I said that? Cool!
Do you think that statements like the one you're talking about are even more validated by ministries and, well, the self-help programs in churches that essentially minimize Christ's work by encouraging personal validation, high self-esteem, etc. It's as if the unspoken statement is "yeah, Christ on the Cross is imnportant and all, but really what we need is to be personally validated so that we can have good relationships with ourselves." The point sorta becomes having validating thoughts of yourself, rather than atonement and forgiveness of sin for a right standing with God. My opinion of myself becomes more important than God's opinion of me.
Yes. I do think that, exactly. As the great preacher Sinclair Ferguson (of Columbia, SC) has said, Most of modern Christianity is just maintenance of the project of the Self (but he said it better than that). Preachers are calling people to God because he is great and can help them (God as an extremely versatile personal valet), rather than because they are sinful and in need of redemption. When we are "called" to God in this manner, with the cross as a kind of side-matter that one may want to pay attention to at Easter or something, then we are actually coming to a non-existent God out of fleshly motivations! Because of this kind of preaching, the churches are full of this kind of believing.
CAn't add much to both of your comments. It is so true. WE know the 'world' is all about self but how sad that even in the 'church' we have elevated self and self help to the pulpit. I had a pastor that preached it from the pulpit all the time. That is why we changed churches. Either Christ's work was sufficient or not.
Bob, I took that very ride for years: "I know God forgives me, but I can't forgive myself."
I don't remember now who said it, but I do remember what snapped me out of it. Someone said, in effect, "You may think your attitude is pious, but in reality it's profoundly arrogant. Who do you think you are not forgiving yourself when God Almighty has forgiven you in Jesus Christ? If God says you're forgiven, that's all that matters. The rest is just your selfish feeling; get over it."
It was just what I needed then, and what I still have to remind myself of more often than I care to admit. It's also what, I suspect, thousands more need to hear and accept today.
Thanks again, Bob, for pointing our attention to the gospel and the cross. The Lord be praised.
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