Saturday, May 15, 2010

Wilderness Faith

So, transition.

I'm not really sure why the whole church thing stopped working for me. The Sunday morning concerts (known in the church biz as "worship") got too self-congratulatory, I suppose. The preaching was okay, but I didn't see the point of sitting in rows and listening to the special person talk for an hour.

Then there was all the "let's go, people" type sermons. It could be almost painful at times to listen to. So after a while, I just gave up.

Since then, I've attended another church that I like well enough, and yet I haven't actually sunk down roots there. I'm not sure why. What I really think I'd like, really, is a small tight-knit group of friends who will, among other things, worship and pray together, learn from Jesus together, and serve one another and the community in which they live.

Imagine that. I don't actually expect to find this any time soon. But I'm looking. I expect to visit churches from time to time, and seek other ways to get together with believers to talk or sing or whatever, and my whole point here is to say that I'm going to journal the day to day experience here at Wilderness Fandango.

The truth is, when I changed the name of the blog to Wilderness Fandango, it was in recognition of something I saw in the offing, but hadn't yet fully understood or wholly entered into. The "wilderness" is essentially a place between, a place of transition. It is not necessarily a place of terror, but certainly of discomfort, of long gazing at far horizons, and of, by necessity, great patience.

In this time, as might have been expected, the very purpose of blogging has been in transition also. Many years ago, I thought of it as a kind of ministry. Now, I simply want to record the journey. I'm not even sure what I mean by that, or what it will entail. I'm still thinking that through.

More to come.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i find this very real, indeed.

it is what you are going through "now".

and of course as that changes, so does what you write about.

i do not expect the same, same.

i don't see anything on earth that stays the same.

our physical life and our spiritual life is about change.

the open honesty of our life with ourselves, with others and to God, is something we lack. seeing you "put it out there" is refreshing.

truly appreciate your willingness to be open about what you are thinking. to put that fear aside seems like it can only be a good thing in the long run.